Autopsy of a D/s relationship

In life you make connections with people. Some connections are meaningful, some are not. Among the meaningful connections, some change your life in a way that makes you totally unrecognisable so much so that you end up a different person.

I have met such a person in my first Dom.

We only started as friends, then as a rigging partnership and moved on to a D/s.

He had such a profound influence on me because he was the person who introduced me to the physical world of BDSM, to the world of Rope and then the world of D/s. I have made my first steps in the BDSM world holding his hand. As all this was happening, I was in a very bad stage in my divorce, being called names and being generally mentally abused but he has been by my side, supporting me when I needed it.

Also, I felt a mind connection with him in the sense that he understood me and I understood him. We could talk about anything and everything and have a lot of fun, including his pet subject Les Miserables.

He’s someone I am going to miss a lot but that I cannot afford keeping around me for my sanity. Our connection was far too strong, far too deep (at least on my side). It has been short (a few months) but it changed me completely.

Before him, I didn’t know who I was bdsm-wise, though I had an inkling. Now I know. Before him, I was full of insecurities. I am much less so. Before him I wasn’t writing. Now I do. He’s not responsible for all these changes. I have made those changes. But he has been a guide, a presence pushing me in the right direction.

Now someone new is going to take his place, someone new will influence on the direction my life will take, how I will evolve as a person. That someone new might already be on my radar or is there somewhere. I am ready for that person. I will give him all of me, my body and soul. I will submit to him like I have done with my first Dom, maybe more so. And I will be on a new journey and writing a new story.