As usual, when I am faced with a problem, I write. So here I am writing.
I am at the LAM, the day is starting very well and I am with my friends when all of a sudden I am aside, no longer in any conversation and I feel completely out of place. There it is again: the Monster I have been running away from, the shy and withering non-entity that I am not but that keeps claiming me when I least expect it. I have a huge social anxiety. I used to avoid groups and crowds by a mile. But the past 5 months, I had relegated that Monster to the back of my mind.
But here it is. It is not pretty. It is very ugly actually and very much omniscient. It is taking over me and making me very anxious and panicky.
I need to get that Monster under control first before I can banish it again.
Writing should be helping but the anxiety is still here.
I am going to try to relax and read a book to see if that helps.
This is something I need to do on my own though as it is a Monster in my head and only I will defeat it.
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