The new me is still trying to come out, succeeding slowly and slowly.
I have met a lot of people along the way, some in real life, a lot in virtual life.
Life has not been kind to me lately but then again I would not be the person I am if it had.
If I were to do my yearly appraisal, I would say that my main achievement this year was to embrace who I am and not be scared of my darkness. Accepting me, how it enabled me to experience things I would never have imagined possible. I am so happy to be able to completely let go and enjoy connectivity, even with brand new partners met minutes before. This is pure magic and it is so beautiful to be part of that.
One of my other achievements is that I have completely broken with the husband in terms of being under him emotionally and financially. He can hurt me still but I am much stronger now than I have ever been.
Another achievement is that I no longer think that because I am a large woman, I am unworthy of having fun and having love. This is so far from the reality. I have played with some really fun people and they didn't bat an eye regarding my size. As someone said to me before, we are a whole bunch of kinky people, size don't matter.
Last, I have started writing creatively, something that was in the back of my mind for a long long time but was too self-conscious to get off the ground. My blog has been read by more people than I would have expected (1400+ posts read in 4 weeks). I have also received some very good comments. So I am very pleased by that.
Areas to work on / things that need happening
I need to find work so that I can have a real life and not live in the kink world all the time. Also it will enable me to do more things with my son as he now realises that mummy has no money to spend for everything that he wants, choices need to be made (actually a good life lesson for him).
I need to work out a way for my depressive dips not to swallow me and that I can go back up reasonably fast.
I need to ensure I keep contact with all my friends, at least via email, to ensure they are alright. At least, if I don't write, I still think about them.
I need to have complete closure with regards to my divorce and D/s break up
I have to keep on working at becoming the real me, self-confident, brilliant, bubbly, crazy, well be the whole me and no longer a shadow of me.
I have to lose weight but only on health ground, not for vanity and only if it is the right thing to do (ie not when I have too much on my plate).
This year, I will award myself a WELL DONE. I deserve it because I have achieved a lot in a very little amount of time. I am a new person, a better person. And I can be better still.
End of the Yearly Appraisal.
I have met a lot of people along the way, some in real life, a lot in virtual life.
Life has not been kind to me lately but then again I would not be the person I am if it had.
If I were to do my yearly appraisal, I would say that my main achievement this year was to embrace who I am and not be scared of my darkness. Accepting me, how it enabled me to experience things I would never have imagined possible. I am so happy to be able to completely let go and enjoy connectivity, even with brand new partners met minutes before. This is pure magic and it is so beautiful to be part of that.
One of my other achievements is that I have completely broken with the husband in terms of being under him emotionally and financially. He can hurt me still but I am much stronger now than I have ever been.
Another achievement is that I no longer think that because I am a large woman, I am unworthy of having fun and having love. This is so far from the reality. I have played with some really fun people and they didn't bat an eye regarding my size. As someone said to me before, we are a whole bunch of kinky people, size don't matter.
Last, I have started writing creatively, something that was in the back of my mind for a long long time but was too self-conscious to get off the ground. My blog has been read by more people than I would have expected (1400+ posts read in 4 weeks). I have also received some very good comments. So I am very pleased by that.
Areas to work on / things that need happening
I need to find work so that I can have a real life and not live in the kink world all the time. Also it will enable me to do more things with my son as he now realises that mummy has no money to spend for everything that he wants, choices need to be made (actually a good life lesson for him).
I need to work out a way for my depressive dips not to swallow me and that I can go back up reasonably fast.
I need to ensure I keep contact with all my friends, at least via email, to ensure they are alright. At least, if I don't write, I still think about them.
I need to have complete closure with regards to my divorce and D/s break up
I have to keep on working at becoming the real me, self-confident, brilliant, bubbly, crazy, well be the whole me and no longer a shadow of me.
I have to lose weight but only on health ground, not for vanity and only if it is the right thing to do (ie not when I have too much on my plate).
This year, I will award myself a WELL DONE. I deserve it because I have achieved a lot in a very little amount of time. I am a new person, a better person. And I can be better still.
End of the Yearly Appraisal.
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